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This is a very complicated situation and being that I don't know if I have the right to feel the way I do. I am looking for honest answers from both men and women not wise cracks. My husband and I have been together for 51/2 yrs and married 3yrs. After we were together for about 6 months we talked and decided together to get into the swing lifestyle. We have great fun with it and enjoy it very much. No jealousy issues at all. After we were comfortable with meeting with other couples we talked and said that if either one of us found someone that we want to do something with we have the others permission as long as we let them know a head of time. It all seems well enough neither of us was out looking for another to have a fling with. We also made the decision in the beginning that there is no swinging with anyone we work with It would be too awkward afterwards if things didn't work out. We are both in our 40's and due to some situations with my kids ive been under a lot of stress and sex drive hasn't been really all that it was. We did have an amazing weekend where our bedroom fun was the best we have ever had. Being under stress I went back onto my "happy pill" to help and maybe it would help me in the sex drive. We both have always had very high sex drive. Yesterday I found out that my husband has been chatting with someone from work. They spent all evening texting and swapping pics. My husband love his breast so him getting pics is nothing normal but he doesn't usually send pics back. This chatting was only yesterday I have access to the cell phone records so I know it was just yesterday but like three hours and he tried calling her also. Then he made a big deal that he wanted to take the car because he wanted to do Christmas shopping for me. He doesn't like shopping. He was going to go pick my daughter up after she got out of work and go with her. He is wicked sick so he decided not to take the car. When he got into the shower I checked his phone because I saw him take a pic but never sent it to me so I was curious and the message was from her and it might not mean anything but said hun on it. I have a hard time trusting in the first place my ex husband really did a job on me. He keeps saying there is nothing going on they are just flirting and he wouldn't do anything with her because she works in the same building as him. He also keep saying he told me if he wants to do anything with anyone he would tell me first. I know I said I would be alright if it came to this point but guess what it is easier said then done. Our last big disagreement was about my kids and he said if things don't change then we are heading to divorse court. That was on Sun or Mon. He alsways says that during a disagreement/argument, but I think he meant it this time. So things have started to change but now I find him texting this female. Another thing is he has been married twice before and on other long term relationship but none of them lasted more then 5 yrs. This all is building up inside and I feel sick to my stomach and I don't know what to do. I already said I would be ok with it if it happened but never thought it would so now what. Just sit and let it happen. I have told him this morning that I just never thought it would happen and that it is easier to say then do and he understands that but I don't know if he will stop or not. I love him that's not an issue and I believe he loves me it is just the lifestyle couples with couples are a lot easier then one going out on their own. Please someone will you talk to me even through email and help me sort out my thoughts. I want honesty from both women and men so I know if im feeling the right way and men so I know what my husband might be thinking. Not any wise cracks I know I said yes so I have to deal now but I want to know if this is the right way to feel at first with everything that is going on. I am not looking to hook up either just honesty. Thanks
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